We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize