I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize