She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
BRING THE BAGELS
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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