you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize