Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
