mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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