Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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