now i know why i became what i already was.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
