I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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