She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
