it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
