sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
