I hate all girls vehemently.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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