Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
