I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
