Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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