Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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