Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
