Where is the hickey?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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