did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize