this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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