after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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