You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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