biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Life is so much better after having sex.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
My feet surprised me
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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