super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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