you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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