You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
