I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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