we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
