matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Randomize
