Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Randomize
