I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Randomize
