guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
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