i would punch a child for taco bell
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
