what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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