so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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