My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
the raccoons are back...
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