Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
