My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
