If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
