I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
oh god the rape fog is back!
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
