Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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