I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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