I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
