I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Randomize
