Who did Billy Mays play for?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
