They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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