it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
