Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
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