Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize