Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
