You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
