i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
3pm strippers are depressing
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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