we made out on top of his cat.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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