guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Couch. On fire.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
