i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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