She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
