I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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