I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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