Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
